Eye contact

I pulled up to Starbucks today, my favorite caffienation stand and sat in a parking spot facing the window of Quizno's next door. A woman in her 30's sat in the window slowly eating a sub and watching me talk on the phone. At the same time a younger girl and I'm assuming her boyfriend sat in the window of Starbucks also watching. Everytime I would look up to and notice them looking they would immediately look away... why? Why not look back?

I talked to a new friend of mine who also is a professional dancer. She hails from good old North Carolina but took a job in Chicago for a year with a great dance company. She was sharing how most folks in Chi-town are very cold. How people would run into her on the street and never say "excuse me" how people wouldn't speak on the subway. The few rare times that people did speak to her they ended up propositioning her for sex. What is it with people? What's wrong with eye contact?

Remember the old days... when people talked? I know it sounds silly but it used to happen. People who talked and made eye contact weren't considered suspect of some ulterior motive, they were considered kind. People would stop to help a neighbor in need instead of passing by and saying, "I'm sure someone is already coming to help." Somehow our society has grown cold and distant from each other. Why? Come on you see it too don't you? You try to make eye contact and "they" look away. You're watching someone else and they look at you then you look away. Come on we all do it. Here's what I think. I think that making eye contact creates a responsibility people feel. It might go like this... if I make eye contact then I am somehow responsible to respond, to smile, to say hello. Then what? What if they think we're "weird" or something. What if they do?

Here's my challenge to myself and to all of you. When you make contact visually or if someone makes contact with you, look right back. Smile and say hi. Maybe every glance that we hide from is a missed opportunity to share love with the unloved or truth with the misguided. Maybe every eye to eye connection that we turn away from is an on ramp to relationship and to being able to be like Christ.

What are we hiding from, being ourselves? Surely everyone can't think we're "weird". What if we operated on the premise that everyone who looks at us wants to know us, what if they do? How will people know who we are if we are too shy to even return a glance and a smile. People will know us by our love... love is a language... let's speak it.

Villiage thinking...

What's all this talk about "the village"? Have you heard it? I have. I hear men in business suits and ministers in white collars talking about the village and about tribes; who's tribe is who's and which tribe their in. No one in loinclothes, no huts or teepees, not even so much as a campfire. What is it they're talking about?

I think that what they're talking about a mindset. Here's what I mean. Walk through downtown Cleveland or any other major city on any given day and you'll see it. People who don't make eye contact with each other, who run into each other without an "excuse me" or "oh I'm sorry". This is not village thinking. This is "downtown thinking"... who can I beat, can I get there first, will today be they day when they pick me instead of everyone else? I just drove through Chicago over the weekend during rush hour in a huge van, try merging into another lane with the "downtowners" trying to get home from work it was almost impossible.

Village life is slower, more deliberate. You don't exist in the same place all alone without crossing paths with others. You see the same little group of people day after day, year after year. You can't hide. People know you, they know your stuff. It's not like that downtown. Villages always have a fire right? Over the ages fire has represented life and the center of existence around the world. Now I hope you don't think that they did searched monster.com for a "incendiary specialist", worked out a benefits package and had him show up to keep the fire going. The village kept the fire going. It was a group effort. People gathered wood, stoked the fire, cooked over it, were warmed by it. Families keep fires going. Village thinking says that I am my brothers keeper and I need to watch out for him. When my neighbor is in need and I have the ability to meet that need, I do. In the big city people either "don't make it" or "slip through the cracks". In the village there is a sense of personal responsibility that many times is obviously absent from the city.

Have you ever watched the movie "The Village" by M. Night Shyamalan? I have and though it's another topic altogether I think he's a genius with film.

STOP READING NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE VILLAGE AND DON'T WANT ME TO BLOW THE WHOLE PLOT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway the Village is a place created by men. Because of hurt and a sense of loss they decide to create a place that is like something out of the early 18oo's in the year 2004 in order to try to insulate themselves from further pain. The long and short of it is, they can't. Just see the movie, you'll see what I mean. The bottom line... they couldn't take it downtown and didn't no how to escape it so they really tried to escape it literally. Here's the question though... ready? How do we live downtown with a village mentality?

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
Romans 12:9-16 (The Message)

How do we perceive the reality of our existence? Do we feel the need for human contact and interaction or do we mistakenly believe that we are alone and can only exist alone? These are pivotal questions for us to ask because they set us on a track toward or away from people.

The success that I'm looking for is not measured dollars and cents, in status or position. It's measured in friends gained or love sent and received. In knowing this God and living for him. In changing lives one at time because of love. Let's slow down and go back to the "village" even if we live "downtown". There's life in the village.